The other day I started to write a post I had to stop myself, I wrote for about 20 minutes, the words were flowing, and my mind was churning with ideas but then I stopped and read what I had written. It was the day before Thanksgiving and all I had done was write for 20 minutes about how mad, disappointed and disgusted I was... My words were angry and came from a place in me that is petty and looks toward the negative as an excuse for my current situation, or what I thought was my current situation. I didnt like what I saw from myself, not one bit. But since I wrote those words I've had a talk with my beautiful sister who just found she's pregnant with her second child. I talked with my brave and strong brother who is putting everything he's got into bettering himself at school and doing a bang-up job keeping that cute and crazy dog happy and healthy. I got messages from my mom and one of my aunts telling me they missed me and that they're there if I need anything. I talked to my dad who was smiling the whole time and kept telling me how good I looked and how much he missed me. I talked with my beautiful and driven girlfriend and we are making serious plans about our future together and the sound of church bells seem to be chiming somewhere close by. I played a rugby game with 21 other guys that were sweating and bleeding with me in a hard fought and close game. I started teaching rugby at a school where i get three groups of 25 kids, twice a week and get to teach the game that has done so much for me. I've had a talk with a new company here in Berlin that would love to have me as a member of there staff as soon as I get my papers sorted out. I coached two separate rugby teams that tell me constantly how much they love the session that I put together and how much there enjoying rugby now that I am helping out. I went to my German class where the others often look to me for help and the other day they called me "Deutsch Lehrer zwei" (German teacher 2). I looked around and noticed that I have a roof over my head in a great neighborhood here in Berlin, food in the fridge, a warm and comfortable bed that I can lay with my girlfriend every night in, books to read, TV to watch, computer to work on, and who knows how many other things that people would kill for.
I realized very quickly that i was looking in all the wrong places. I was digging in the dark corners of my mind where the poor, broken, angry things lie and all I needed to turn around and face the light where all the things that have been granted to me, for who knows what reason, are standing big and tall right before my eyes. All the things and people I'm thankful for and have done so much for me throughout my life are all standing and smiling at me watching me struggle and fight the good fight with the knowledge that I have the tools and abilities to overcome the negative, live in the positive, and make the best of the situation I have, which seems to be very, very good now that I look at it again.
One of the great things that has come my way was teaching rugby. I was thrown to the wolves on this one but I'm making the best of it and loving it for the difficulties and triumphs. Two weeks ago I was asked if I had interest in going to the school and starting a rugby class in the gym and I said yes and that I would be more than happy to give it a shot but it very quickly became apparent that it would be a bit more difficult than I thought. The first day I did the class my teammates came with me and we met with the principle of the school, which is a young confident german woman with a heart of gold, and the two sport teachers. They asked if we were ready to teach the class and I said yes, hoping that my german teammate would take the first step and introduce us and explain what we were doing there mostly because his german is fluent and mine is... ok... kind of, but nope.... the ball was in my court quite literally as i stood there, rugby ball in hand in the middle of the basketball court with 25, 12 year old kids looking at me waiting to see what this American Rugby player had to say to them. I also had to do this whole thing in german so I gave it a shot and no time I had the little fellas running up and down the court with the ball, making passes, and scoring tries. So what if there was a general reckless abandon for the rules and we had a few fights as a few kids got pushed into the benches and came up pushing and shoving. The kids were all smiles, laughing, asking all sorts of question, which I understood roughly 60 percent of, and having a generally good time. Great success if I say so myself
After the class the kids were asking if we could do it again some time soon, where they could get a ball, where they could watch rugby, and all sorts of other things about the rules and about the sport in general. Im in my second week of teaching rugby and hope to continue in the future. the sport teachers and principle all seem to support the idea and, who knows, we might be able to get more classes, more kids, and more rugby in Germany!!
Hopefully my positive outlook continues and my adventure keeps on being... adventurous
